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Nov. 16th, 2008

my comp broke down for the last few days. that's the reason why i did not update m journal.
alo of things have happened.
getting new jobs, news things that happened to me, which obviously right now i keep it to myself.
i dont wish to let it out anymore.
i've a new motto in mind and indeed i have learn my lesson.

thanks for making the incident happen, that when i knew weather i am worth it.
been playing basketball in the alternate days.
usually i force myself to play although the mood isn't there or either i am feeling freaking sick.

i really wish that things would turn out well next year. looking forward to new things.
i should be busy from the last week of december to the end of my end of year examination.
sometimes i wonder, if i've been a better kid and do not always rely on other people, i've might been better in the future.

sign off,

Nov. 5th, 2008

                     WOO HHOOO ! OBAMA WON !~ 
few days back, there is a news keep on reporting about obama and mcclain. i would shout the name 'obama' like nobody cares.
yooo hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
damn happy sia ! the american president of my choice.
he is the first black president. this shows that anyone can also become a president. color and background doesn't matter. as long as you are in to win it !!

i'm too lazzy to blog at bloggerrrrr. arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i'm really really broke right now. please dont talk about having fun. ):

Nov. 4th, 2008

it's not the secret that i really want to know.
yes, i've know it  since the day when you ask me about whether you should go on with him or not.
i kept myself numb.
people had been telling me about it.
i asked you whether it's true or not, and you said it wasn't
deep inside i felt hurt.
how can i trust you in the future ?
you're the only one who knows the fark is happening to me, cause i put my full trust on you.
shut the crap and let's end the story.

p/s: it's not the real secret that i want. all i want is your

Nov. 2nd, 2008

i'm upset about it. Totally.
went to play basketball today.
i really want to clear things up. how can she treat me that way ?
even the friend she always hangs out with was totally shocked about.
yes, gawd, it's true.
what i've been hearing is not bullshit.
i trusted her more than i can imagine.
she somehow had asked me about it.
i asked her about the damn situation TWICE.
she answered me and she was like "NO!"



you're not a good friend of mine, you CANNOT BE TRUSTED ANYMORE, no more


i know i've been a pathetic bitch recently.
i had a breakdown yesterday.
obviously, all down by myself.
who on earth would understand my feeling.
yes, my friends can be my listening ear. but have ever they put them self in my shoe ?
Have they ?

yesterday i was kindda happy that i still manage to get top 10, as this year is a tough year, everyone is fighting for it.
i wanna tell my parents.
but what would they react ?

usually they would be , " orh, really ar ? oh, ok "
Then you will be like wtf.

after exams, there is more things to be lastly done, as a class chairperson.
i had to make a card.
i have to make sure that the breakfast with teachers works.
i had to get the chalet done.

if not, i've failed as a class chairperson.

yesterday, during the few minutes before training.
there was only 3 pathetic juniors.
i was like 0.0
where the others ?

none of the juniors came down for the training.
aren't they pathetic ?
during my time, yes, even my batch this kind of thing.
atl eats the least amount that came, ONLY 5 !
but this is one is damn jialat la.
only 11 came down for training.
i really got to say good luck to myself, the last year in netball, which means the most "sweetest" year with them.

even for other cca, their juniors had never done that to their seniors.
the basketball, the ncdcc, the scouts.
all their juniors came.
ours, NONE ?
This year, we had a the most pathetic juniors.
next year, we better pray hard that our juniors is not like that.
i tell you, the sec 1 better dont give a cold shoulder to them.
i will surely mocked them in front of their juniors. TRY ME.

I know i am not the best player on court.
but coming down for training will never kill me.
at least, you would faint, due to the tough training.
but it would be a rare case, obviously.

this few days, i've been close to the people who i am not close too, before.
the relationship with me and the people who i always with will try to fade away.
i will not be shocked if my relationship with the people i'm closed to, would fade away.
if this things continue, i swear, it will end off.

i'm getting tired of people complaning about me.
i've got no close friends in class.
i'm too close to the netballers.
cause i'm an NA student when there is exam for NA or what, i would be left all alone.
but my teamates doesn't feel what i suffer.
whenever i keep on talking about the classes about what they are going, they would remind me that i'm an NA student.
i felt hurt when i heard that. of course, who wouldn't ?
sometimes, i would rather make friends with the NA students.
we have the same thoughts and feeling toward studies.
we will not criticize each other because we have the same destiny.

i've been hurting deep inside.
i will locked the door and cry like nobody cares.
and try to look messy, as though i just woke up from sleep.
i've been looking happy in school, but deep inside, i was trying to control myself from having a breakdown.
even the person i'm closes to, doesn't understand me.

p/s: try to put yourself in my shoe, and feel what i am suffering right now.


a lot of things happened. all i can do is to express my feelings and thoughts through online diary.
the day before yesterday was a disaster.
i had the worst quarrel with mummy.
she called me a slut and a bitch.
how would you feel when your own mummy called you that ?
obviously she has her reasons to be angry.
i locked myself in my room and tell my self to control my tears and not to cry about stupid stuffs.
end up, we end the fight with her asking about my results.
after she knew that my result was good, then she kept quite.

yesterday :

i went home as usual looking tired, as there was training.
i asked my lil guy to unlock the house door.
he couldn't find the key and asked mummy about it.
mummy scolded me for the lost of the key. same goes for my brother.
ehs, what's your freaking problem ? i was just asking for the house key. if you dont have any just tell me that laa.
mum talked to me nicely yesterday.
the fight ended.
i was told that i got the top 10.
dont wish to tell my parents about it.
i dont think there is something new about it.

today :

bored bored bored.
played netball again.
but today, i can feel that there is boredom inside of me, playing with the teachers.
bored playing with them probably.
wish you all the best for the other matches.


the simple reasons l love netball (:

  • keep on having things so that we won't feel bored (:

1. Holiday Training
2. NETOPS Sports Carnival
3. Netball Camp in December (Tentative)
4. Netball Outing
5. CCA Room

there is training, carnival,camp and outing.

none of the cca have this kind of events.

had a lot of fun today.
thanks darls for making my day. I LOVE YOU.

my mum was pissing me off by doing things LAST MINUTE.
i was late because of her. NEVERMIND, i am doing good deeds. (:

bus-ed to interchange to meet darl.
i was like freaking paiseh la, i was late for 15 minute.

then train-ed to pasir ris then went to downtown east.
when we were reaching the ehub, darl saw the sun coming out already.
we rushed to the mart to buy some chips. bought 3, end up finishing 1 only =.-/

rushed to the beach, picked the best place (:
THEN quickly sun tanned.
obviously, i am not the one who tanned.
haha, i have enough of it!
then talked bout some stuffs and went to the sea to cool my body.
put on my shades, hahha.
i had a great time there. (:

we shall make another day to enjoy before the intensive training.

woke up, freaking early this morning.
around 630 ? GOD, I MISS SCHOOL.

i miss the food in the canteen. MUAHHAA.

will be going picnic later, hope the weather would be fine later (: *Pray*

i was listening to got money by lil wayne ft t-pain, few minutes before i updated.
gawd, there is too much vulgar.

he is soo open about it. well, that' him and that's good.
he tattoo is also so freaky. every where in his body, there is tattoo.

" Bitch ain't shit but a hoe in a trick
Bet you no one ain't trick if you got it
You know we ain't f**king if you not thick
And I cool your ass down if you think you're hot shit  "


slacking at the singapore press holdings

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